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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I hear your anguish.  I see why you are upset. Your SIL sounds possessive and dangerously controlling.

For this giving OP grief, imagine if the genders were reversed.  Op’s Sister married a man who won’t let her take calls from her family.  He won’t let her participate in family chats.  He won’t let her family visit unless he is present.  Obviously abisive and sick, right,  oP’s SIL is abusive and sick.  This is not normal boundaries.  This is pathological insecurity and possessiveness.

OP, your brother can’t make this work.  He needs to contact a lawyer and work on getting at least half custody of the kid.  But he’s gotta figure that out himself.  Keep loving him, keep being ther for him.  She has isolated him and he needs you.  But you can’t fix him...you can mirror back what he tells you in hopes it might give him clarity but you are not responsible for him and n Ed to try you let this go.

My brother was in a similarly abusive marriage with a paranoid, volatile woman. He became more and more isolated from all his friends.  She threatened to leave him and take their kids back to her country any time he wanted to see friends or talked to us too much.  It’s a longer story but he died by suicide and we hardly ever get to see the children, who are Terri boy emotionally abused by her.  I hear in your voice the kind of increasing desperation I felt.  Just make sure your brother knows he is not alone and always has you.  Make sure he know he has options and doesn’t need to stay married.  Make sure he knows that you love him even when she is awful to you.  Good luck.[/quote]

I am sorry you had to experience such a horrific tragedy, but it seems like OP’s situation is different. He brother is hardly isolated - he works with his dad, his family visits him every 2 weeks, they vacation together. OPs family is judgmental and pushy, they destroy their son’s marriage.  OP is upset that SIL avoids her, she is writes that she is upset that SIL does not leave her alone with her brother, and so on and so forth.[/quote]

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