Reply to Please help me figure out how to handle friend's difficult children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take one older kid at a time. They will probably behave better that way and it will still give the mom some help.

Don’t hesitate to tell the mother - and the kids - exactly why they aren’t welcome to come together. “You don’t follow the house rules when you come together and it’s too exhausting for me to supervise so closely. Let’s see if you can behave better if you visit without your brother and then he will get a turn next time.”[/quote]

Will definitely try this - thank you![/quote]
Don’t try this unless you want your friend to think you’re a total asshole.[/quote]

NP.  Disagree.  The kids will probably be more manageable individually.  OP wants to help and needs to find a more realistic way of doing it.

Also, the 6 year old should be in school but that's not a problem that OP can solve.  [/quote]
I was referring to the suggestion that OP lecture the mom and kids about why OP isn’t willing to take both anymore.  Telling an overwhelmed mom of newborn twins that she’s doing a shitty job parenting her older children and they’re nightmares as a result isn’t going to accomplish anything because mom doesn’t have the bandwidth right now to make major changes.  It will just make the mom feel terrible and completely alienate her as a friend.[/quote]

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