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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad completely lost his filter, among other signs of dementia.  Turns out he had frontotemporal dementia.  No amount of correction or boundaries was going to undo that.  He had a geriatric psychiatrist who was really helpful in getting him medicated enough to be a reasonably pleasant person (mostly) without the enraged outbursts.  [b]So consider that this may be a disease and not just the person trying to torture you. 
[/b]
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontotemporal_dementia
[/quote]

Well said.  A few of the posts show that the posters don't really have a good understanding of dementia and that they should be more compassionate and understanding with their loved one.[/quote]

But it's extremely hard to be "compassionate and understanding" with a relative who is racist and has no filter when there are inter-racial couples in the family, etc.  That is our situation.  How exactly do you tell your husband he has to put up with your dad's racist remarks "because he's old."  I also remember my grandfather being incredibly sexist as he aged and wondering why my parents didn't stand up and defend their daughters when grandpa said things like sending us to college was a waste of money.  When you tell the other person to just suck it up, you're telling them that they don't matter.[/quote]

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