Reply to Is everyone into polyamory or random kinks or are Slate’s advice columns just weird?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I'm very involved in the kinky community.[/b]  The ones who call themselves poly are a minority (although a very vocal minority for some reason) and you hear the most complaints from those who actually practice it about the problems in those relationships.  OMG do they complain.  From what I've seen, the so-called poly people are far from jealousy free.  Don't believe the hype.  [/quote]

Is there really a kinky community?  Do they actually label themselves this way?  And what the heck type of behaviors are considered kinky? And unless you're looking for people to join in with your shenanigans, why would it be necessary to be part of a community? [/quote]

Yes, there absolutely is a kinky community.  t's not necessary for anyone to be a part of the community but it is nice to be able to meet with, and discuss those things we do that many people would not understand. 
Kinksters and swingers overlap but are not the same.  For example, a typical kinky party is not the same as a swingers club, but some some people will have sex at kinky parties where it is permitted.  Swingers may not identify as kinky, and for sure, most people who identify as kinky do not practice swinging.  Yes, kinky people give themselves all kinds of labels for themselves and their relationship types.  So many it can be hard to keep up with at times.

What behaviors are considered kinky?  For a lot of people, it can be a couple dynamic that includes a master-slave type relationship, or where one is dominant and the other submissive and all that entails including BDSM.  For some, it's all about the impact play which could include being restrained while being: paddled, whipped, caned or other things involving painful pleasure.  Being tied up with rope and suspended is  a big part of the scene that has become very popular in the last ten years or so.  Some people have mad skills with rope, also known as, Shibari.  I envy them.  And so many other things I won't bother listing as I'm sure you can do your own research if you are interested.

A lot of people are fine with playing with others, according to their rules which may include, no sexual contact. This gives people a chance to try out different things like, getting tied up, spanked, caned, waxed, needle play, electro stimulation, and many other things in a somewhat supervised, somewhat safe environment while others may just go for the social scene and confine their play to each other, although in full view of everyone else.  I say somewhat safe because these things we practice certainly carry certain risks while some can be downright dangerous if performed by those without much experience.  That's one of the reasons that most of these kinky clubs do not allow drinking and they will employ at least a few people to monitor the different scenes and call a halt to anything they feel is getting out of hand or just not allowed at that club.

These things all go on in private homes or at kinky parties where they have the facilities the average person probably doesn't have at home.  Parties are every week and some of the largest in the area may have a few hundred people with some annual events that are much larger and take up an entire hotel for an entire weekend or a huge campground for a full week.

I'll venture to guess that most people who identify as kinky are not involved in the "scene" so much or the whole kinky community.  I know a lot of people, like us, who used to go to the parties back in the day but got their fill of it but still very much enjoy what we do.  But, to be certain, there is a community with it's own social network websites, very active party scene across the country as well as other social meet & greet gatherings in bars and restaurants where they keep it vanilla.  It's all around you.  Trust me, many people you interact with are involved in it.

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