Reply to Does the Husband backing off and giving space help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is your emotional connection? Do you guys fight? Talk? Have there been any periods of depression or disconnect due to kids, work, midlife, etc.?

Address the underlying intimacy issues. There may be some physical/health issues as well.[/quote]

Emotionally, probably average.  We don't fight a lot.  She is super miserable at her job so when I come home, it's venting, then complaining, so I wouldn't dream of putting sex on the menu that night.  We have a slightly special needs kid that wears us both out.  The intimacy issue has been going on a decade plus, I am just over being the pursuer 100 percent of the time.

When I try to address it, its generally met with "this is because we haven't had sex in a while?  Then just do it" i.e. checklist sex which I don't and won't have again.  Would rather be celibate and open the marriage or divorce.[/quote]

She sounds super stressed.  Tell her to quit her job.  Is there anything that you are using her salary for that’s more important than a good sex life and a happy marriage?  
I mean, obviously if you can’t afford food, then she needs to keep her miserable job.  But if you are thinking that you have enough money to divorce and keep two separate households, then why not just tell her to quit?  
Of course, the expectation is that she be pleasant and not exhausted when you come home from work.  If she’s just as miserable without the miserable job, then she might as well as least earn the money.  But she might be a very different woman.   And she might even find something else that brings some money in that isn’t soul sucking.  [/quote]

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