Reply to Does the Husband backing off and giving space help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is your emotional connection? Do you guys fight? Talk? Have there been any periods of depression or disconnect due to kids, work, midlife, etc.?

Address the underlying intimacy issues. There may be some physical/health issues as well.[/quote]

Emotionally, probably average.  We don't fight a lot.  She is super miserable at her job so when I come home, it's venting, then complaining, so I wouldn't dream of putting sex on the menu that night.  We have a slightly special needs kid that wears us both out.  The intimacy issue has been going on a decade plus, I am just over being the pursuer 100 percent of the time.

When I try to address it, its generally met with "this is because we haven't had sex in a while?  Then just do it" i.e. checklist sex which I don't and won't have again.  Would rather be celibate and open the marriage or divorce.[/quote]

When she says that, do you say “I don’t want to have sex with you if you don’t want to do it?”  Have you told her that’s not a kind of sex that you like or are ok with?  I mean, it’s a very respectful and loving position to take, so I hope she knows that’s how you feel.  [/quote]

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