Reply to How do resolve - husband I disagree over childcare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hire help, get couples counseling, and plan to go back to work when the new baby is in preschool.  [b]Going back to work will equalize things between you and your DH.  [/b][/quote]

No it won’t.

I doubt she’d be able to get a job anywhere near his salary. He would still be the breadwinner and would do zero around the house. She’d be working and doing everything house/kid related, just like before.

This is delusional thinking. 
[/quote]

It will equalize things because she will be participating in the formal labor market, instead of just stuck at home being her DH's unpaid domestic labor. It will likely be more tiring than SAH, but that's the trade off.  It will prepare OP for a likely divorce/separation.  It will also give her grounds to insist on household help and more participation by her DH, unless he is a total ass (which he may be).  I have a useless DH who doesn't even do me the courtesy of earning $775k/year, and it would be much, much worse if I didn't have my own adult life outside of the house. [b] At least with me going to work, he knows that he has to help somewhat with drop-off and sick days.  [/b]What OP's situation does do is give her the luxury of SAH until the kids are out of the baby stage.  [/quote]

You are clueless. A guy like the OPs husband is not going to help with childcare. If she gets a 75K or even 100K job, and asks for help with sick days, he’ll just say “You can quit if it’s too hard - I have to get back to work now, bye.”

She would get more child support and spousal support than she could earn right now. It’s stupid to add even more on her plate when she’s already stressed about the new baby. You really don’t understand the dynamics when one spouse drastically out earns the other. You’re also very condescending, just because she’s a SAHM doesn’t mean she doesn’t have an adult life outside of the house. You have a nasty attitude all around, PP.

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Yep, this isn't a guy who is going to start taking on kid duty when she gets a job.[/quote]

Maybe not, but it would give OP more clear boundaries about needing child and household care, since she would  not be available to do it 24/7. Plus having a job could give her more confidence, and obviously set her up to be able to earn a living if they divorce.  [/quote]

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