Reply to Adopting after secondary infertility

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Adoption is not trauma. [/b]

Trauma (e.g., death of, or neglect or abuse by, a parent) usually precedes adoption.

Adoption--when it works well--is the child getting a second chance to grow into adulthood within a loving family headed up by healthy parents.

[b]I am not saying it is not traumatic for a developing human to have to start over with a new family,[/b] but the adoptive family did not cause the trauma. They are part of the solution.[/quote]

These statements are contradictory. [b]Pick a side.[/b]

[/quote]

So...are you anti-adoption? Would you prefer these children grow up in a home where they are unwanted or abused, or spend years being bounced around from one foster home to another...all in the hope that, eventually, the birth parents will be able to successfully parent the child?  I agree with the other PP here, that the situation resulting in the child's adoption may often be traumatic, but I would hope that adoption could at least be seen as the start of some sort of healing process for the child.

I don't have a dog in this fight.  We are infertile, and we looked into adoption briefly, but it was far too cost prohibitive for us, considering IVF was covered by insurance.  I guess I struggle to understand the clearly anti-adoption PPs on this post who seem to imply that it is a bad thing.  And, no, adoption is in [b]NO [/b]way a "fix" for infertility.  But, if an infertile couple desires to provide a home and love for a child, why is that negative?[/quote]

Because it is infertile couples that CREATE the market for adoptable babies.  They are not (typically) the solution for orphaned children.  They create the highly profitable adoption industry that profits off of coercing vulnerable, poor mothers that they are not worthy of motherhood and that the ultimate love for their child would be handing him or her to another more worthy couple to raise.   Thus CREATING trauma that wouldn’t exist if these mothers had more financial and societal support.

It is an inaccurate stereotype that most adopted children are unwanted by their first mothers.  [/quote]

You seem to be referring to infant adoption.  So I take it your stance doesn't apply to adopting toddlers or older children, adopting out of foster care, etc?  Or are you just this vehement against "infertiles" being the root of adoption evil?  It truly amazes me to see so many anti-adoption posters on DCUM.  Not just in this thread, but quite a few others.
Were you adopted?  [/quote]

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