Reply to Sources for explaining negative consequences of early sexual activity to a teen

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a 12 year old DD who is very interested in a boy and they have kissed. I want to find her non-wacky (i.e., non-political), scientific sources that lays out for her why it is best to wait on this. She is the kind of kid to be swayed by facts and research. Can anyone help with something well written on this topic? [/quote]

OP, you're talking about a 12 year old. You don't have to "sway" her at all. The answer is no; she is too young to be dating and kissing boys. Be a parent and cut this out now.[/quote]
You cannot prevent her from kissing boys and calling whatever relationship they have “dating.”[/quote]

OH, yes, you can. And I would.[/quote]

This depends.  At almost any school, public or private, they can probably find a way to “date” which could translate to texting, notes, eating lunch together, sitting together in class and finding a spot by a locker for a quick kiss. We were all in middle school and high school and know this. Unless you Dugger it, “dating” and the occasional kiss might happen.

You can certainly chaperone all contact outside of school though. And. Kid who says she is at Larla’s house and finds a way to sneak out to be with Larlo is a kid who is not responsible enough to hang out with friends outside your home.

Set the expectation now that boys spend time with your whole family. Keep it going through high school.

You also say “unfortunately” she’s popular (humblebrag).  Will she still be popular without an iPhone, the latest clothing fad or the ability to socialize and hang out with her with her friends?  She may hate you if you pull these things.  But not as much as she would hate herpes.

[/quote]

There’s no way you could steal a quick kiss at our middle school.  We go to a private- there are teachers everywhere.  Plus, the kids talk and the teachers hear the gossip even if they don’t see something.  Kissing at school would result in suspension or at least a meeting with then principal.  Most kids, even my non-nerdy not afraid of trouble, wouldn’t risk that at school.[/quote]

Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify the price tag.  :roll: [/quote]

Your kids have never gone to private school, have they?  Yes, sex can and does happen with private school kids.  However, the kids are a lot more supervised and the administrators have a good handle of what’s going on with whom.  There aren’t many secrets.

[/quote] I’m a therapist to a number of private school teens.  These kids may be supervised at school -as they should be.  But please know that there are patty’s a homes where parents buy alcohol for the party and then leave them alone.  One told me she was so drunk she couldn’t manage herself.  Eventually cried to have her mom pick her up. This was after she was outside laying down w a male classmate and later was making out in a closet w a female classmate.  They only stopped cause someone came in the room.  [/quote]

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