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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We live out of bounds for the school my kid goes to. So to create friendships over the years I’ve arranged play dates, help start a club at school, and been really nice to all the parents. But [b]we never get any play date invites in return[/b]. And now my 11 year old is devestated that her friends are going trick or treating in their neighborhood and talking about all the fun they will have, without thinking of inviting her. It hurts for all of us because [b]we’ve always been the family offering things to her group of friends, and doing the inviting. And yet, they ignore us/her.[/b] Why is this? I know we don’t live in their neighborhood, but we aren’t that far away, and it just sucks how despite knowing these families for years, we are not thought of. [b]They stay in their little clicks and don’t let anyone else in, no matter how hard we try[/b]. We even found out a group of them is going to an event together, and despite the people in that group being my child’s friends, [b]no one let us know about it or invited us[/b]. It’s a very painful situation. Just venting.[/quote]

All the bolded above points to the fact that these girls aren’t your DD’s friends.  Maybe you are coming up with the “neighborhood excuse” because you are in denial.  It appears that their exclusion of her has happened over and over.  They may be nice at school but your DD is not on their radar at all for this to have happened repeatedly.

Do not try to join up with them and do not reach out to any of the mothers.  That would be social suicide for your daughter.  It’s time to end the pain cycle and encourage your daughter to make new friends who are actually real friends to her.  Real friends do not do exclude you time and time again!  My daughter went through this too and once she finally gave up trying to push into a group she ended up making true friends.  It’s a painful process and takes time.  Hang in there.[/quote]

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