Reply to Getting married in our 40s. How should we combine finances?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have been married for over 35 years, and DH and I have always kept out money separate.

We split costs, usually by category.  For example, I provided the down payment for the house and he paid the mortgage.

He is free to spend money on things I wouldn't--a fence around the yard is a recent example--and I can spend money on things he wouldn't (private trainer for an adult child with some medical issues).

It helps that we are both generally frugal and that our incomes have been remarkably similar over the years.[/quote]

I haven’t been married this long but this is how we do it too and it works great for us. We have never felt like any less of a “team.” [/quote]

I had a friend who did this with her husband and everything worked well for 20 years until he started making a lot more money. I think it works best when the incomes are similar and there are no kids. [/quote]

Interesting. I do this with my husband. Married in late 30s. He makes much more than me. We have separate accounts for everything - and because we both have a number of accounts, it was a pain to combine everything and now we are used to our arrangement. We split up the bills. It's not hard to do at all. I manage the household finances and we trust each other. We are both, however, on the same page about spending (though he is much more frugal).

The lie is that you have to combine everything, change your name, get your marriage license, etc., all before or right after your wedding ceremony. Live at your own pace and if and when you are ready to combine because combining would be easier than living with separate accounts, then combine. But you don't have to do it right away.[/quote]

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