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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agreed - and show him the news about Gina Rodriguez if you want to help show that for some songs, the lyrics aren't appropriate for use outside of that specific context (https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/10/15/20916272/gina-rodriguez-n-word-apology-backlash-history)  Love that so many folks here suggest not censoring, but speaking about it. Tipper's way is not what you want.[/quote]

OP here. Agree with the above. But when you have a child saturating themselves with one particular kind of super explicit music, you’ve discussed it with an open mind repeatedly, and kiddo is repeating the language...what do you do? A logical consequence is to place limits on the music. Yes, I’m sure his friends use this language...but surely you can’t dismiss that this huge exposure has something to do with it.

This article is interesting:

https://www.scarymommy.com/dont-censor-music-kids/

I think scary mommy is really missing the point with some of the music. We’re not talking about Sir Mixalot here. We’re taking about explicit degradation of women and related topics, words.[/quote]

OP, I think your issue is with the saturation and effect you see it having on your kid, which is not necessarily true of lots of kids who listen to explicit songs.  If you've talked to your kid and gotten nowhere, then you have to escalate.  You say you've "discussed it with an open mind repeatedly."  Maybe it's time to discuss it with a strong point of view and confidence in your family's values.  You are allowed to have an opinion, even a strong opinion, and express that to your child, along with some rules such as no cursing in the house and no listening to X, Y, Z in your presence or even in his own room on repeat or whatever.  I think you need to not discuss with an open mind trying to persuade your child, but let your child see how deeply and strongly you feel about this.  That is what religious mom did, and while I would not necessarily do it for the same music or reasons religious mom did, there is definitely a point at which I would do it.  These are our family values, and while you are living here you cannot use language or expose me to music that deeply offends me and is anathema to my values.  It's not a kind or loving way to treat a family member, and it's not acceptable in this house.  [/quote]

This is excellent guidance.[/quote]

OP here. Totally agree. That was a great post. I have done this, and it hasn't worked unfortunately. That's why I am where I am right now. It stinks. Also, I really don't think so of you posters have heard the kind of music I'm referring to. Lol. I say that kindly. But, pretty sure the grease soundtrack, which I've heard millions of times, doesn't include references to anal rape and stuff of that magnitude. Make sure you really are aware of what you're kiddos are listening to. [/quote]

I think when you start trying to censor music, you’re really opening a huge can of worms. For my children, if I wanted to be sure they’re not sneaking and listening to music, I’d have to take away all listening devices. No phone, laptop, iPad, earbuds, headphones, tv, or echo. Are you willing to enforce that? It seems like it’s going to become a battle of wills. Are you ready to move from the discussions you’re describing above to making rules about what to listen to and enforce those rules? How will you know if they’re followed? What will you do if the behavior doesn’t change?

I think I’d probably have one final discussion (if I felt the problem is as severe you’re saying, not just an annoyance) and say I tried to guide and model our family values, but his language and attitude have become worse than I can tolerate. I’d explain that I feel the music is influencing his choices, but they’re still his choices to use that language or behave poorly. If he can continue listening to the music and stop the bad behavior, he can continue to listen to it. However, if he can’t change on his own, I’ll help him however I see fit, which includes limiting his music choices. If I don’t trust him to comply with the limits I set, I’ll have to limit access to devices. If he’s bored without electronics, I’ll help him fill his time constructively. This could include physical activity, reading more, chores, starting a new series we can watch together, etc. depending on what I feel is needed. I’d lay it all out, so he can see where it’s headed and choose which path he wants to go down. [/quote]

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