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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You could separate your finances or set rules together.

I wouldn't divorce over this.

His people-pleasing is a double edged sword and probably one of the things that really attracted you to him. It's got to benefit you often in other contexts. This is the trade off.[/quote]

This. Sounds like he’s a really nice guy. I’d hang in to him. This is a problem that can be worked out. [/quote]

He doesn’t sound like a nice guy. Nice guys care about their families. This guy cares about appearances and looking good to other people. [b]He doesn’t care if his wife and child pay the price [/b]as long as he looks good to the outside world.

Not a nice guy at all. [/quote]

You’re adding a lot of assumptions to the situation. And several posters are adding a lot of drama. [b]She didn’t say they can’t pay their mortgage or they’re going into debt over it. She said it’s a problem.[/b] And it sounds like something that can be addressed and resolved.

This relationship forum is nuts. So much bad advice on so many threads. See a marriage counselor, OP. 
[/quote]

I never said they were going to be homeless over this. Nice strawman! I said his wife and child are paying the price. She’s stressing about how to make up the difference. Maybe it means canceling a vacation, maybe it means cutting out the entire family’s entertainment budget for several months. Who knows? We only have her word that it’s affecting her to the point of considering divorce.

He’s still prioritizing helping other people than helping his wife. Why? He must get something out of being the one to lay down his credit card and say “I got this.”  The external validation is worth more than his wife’s stress and anxiety. That says a lot about him. [/quote]

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