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[quote=Anonymous]We've had au pairs for a few years now, after having had nannies for something like 8-9 years. We have four kids, ages 7, 9, 11 and 13. We're at the point in the year when we need to decide whether to host another au pair at the end of our current au pair's term, and I go back and forth on whether I want to do so. My thoughts on the au pair program:
 
- Once all of our kids were school aged, good nannies were hard to find for the hours we needed (before and after school care, driving to sports). Nannies weren't interested in split schedule work, and hiring two nannies was not appealing to us (very hard to find reliable morning care OR reliable afternoon care, and juggling both was no fun). Au pair program allows split schedule and it's generally well received by au pairs who want free time during the day versus being "tied down" to a full day of work.

- Our child care needs vary significantly from school year (part time) to summer (full time), so we'd be looking for new child care every fall/summer, or every fall/winter/summer if after school nanny's schedule changed (most were students). Au pair program is a year plus chance to extend if all goes well.

- Flexible scheduling of au pair program - varying schedule by week based on kids activities - is a huge plus for us. We make it known during matching that this is how we schedule (some nights off at 6, some nights off at 7:30, we provide schedule in advance so au pair can make plans). The au pair comes into it knowing this is the deal, so it's not a surprise but rather something they agree to by virtue of matching with our family. The flexibility is the #1 draw for us as it takes away SO much stress of having to figure out how we will cover complex after school schedules without having to negotiate on an event-by-event basis.

- Cultural exchange is actually a meaningful component of the program, IF you have an au pair willing to take time to share their own culture/traditions/language. We've had mixed success with this; our first (French) au pair was actually the best about sharing culture, whereas our German au pair acted as if Germany didn't exist.

- Cost wise, the au pair program isn't as inexpensive as people might think, and it can be a huge pain to host someone in your home. Agency fees a $7000-$8000, plus flight fees, plus auto insurance (and for our au pair, dedicated vehicle she drives daily during free time), cell phone plus plan, everything that goes into room & board (food, sheets, towels, room fixtures, miscellaneous items that all add up), everything that goes with "member of the family" (restaurant meals, activity fees/tickets to various events, travel expenses, etc.). It can feel like a non-stop drip, drip, drip of cash that goes well beyond the stipend.

- Speaking of the stipend, this is truly $200/week of spending money. Au pairs have no fixed expenses like rent, car payment, groceries, insurance, phone. That's all on the host family. One of our au pairs was a saver and banked her stipends for a year, with minimal spending along the way. Another clearly took $200 on Friday and returned Sunday with shopping bags from the mall. Our 19yr old German au pair bought herself the new iPhone X when it came out as her personal, non-work phone.

I'm honestly worn out on sharing a house with an extra person (mostly circumstances, we're in the middle of painful renovation work) but we will probably re-up with the au pair agency for another year, and another two years after that. Once we have a teen driver I think we'll give up on the program, but until then, the flexibility is such a huge plus that I can't let it go!

For what it's worth, our first au pair is 100% like a close family member now and will be forever. Our current one, maybe like a cousin we enjoy. There can be some great relationships formed.
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