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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. It was a ridiculous tiff but one of 10 in the last month.

We were leaving our son's late baseball game Friday and stopped at McDs drive through. There were a bunch of his team mates families in line behind us. The person at the drive through window forgot to include one order of fries we'd paid for. Husband insisted on staying put until we got what we paid for. I was embarrassed that we were holding up the line and just wanted to drive off. He got angry and I told him he was acting "deranged" about some fries. He said I was ridiculous and it spiraled into a fight that lasted the drive home.

I slept on the couch and this was his comment the next day.[/quote]

There was neither a right or wrong answer to the McD problem.  But, you are very worried about what other people think about you, and that is a problem.  You also leaped toward calling your husband "deranged".... really, "deranged?"  why such extreme language.  You have very black/white, right/wrong ways of seeing things.  You really need to work with a cognitive behavioral therapist to fix this mindset or explore whether it is the result of family-of-origin issues, trauma, anxiety or depression.

How does CBT help -- by forcing you to think about your assumptions about the situation and wether there are alternative ways to view it or alternate solutions.  For example, perhaps other people in line wouldn't be upset about a small wait, like you assume they would?  Perhaps other people in line behind you wouldn't blame your husband, but rather the McD staff?  Perhaps there was another solution when you realized what your DH wanted -- "honey, there's a long line behind us, why don't you tell the lady, that we'll pull into a parking spot and I'll go in and get the fries?" 
 
He may have gotten angry, but you could have just ended the discussion by saying something non-committal like "oh, I guess we just have to agree to disagree" or "Oh, I guess we see it differently..."

If you can't honestly see that sleeping on the couch due to a dispute on the handling of the fries order at McDs is an over-reaction, then you really need help.  This isn't a marital problem, this is a you problem.

BTW, if your kids are in the car, then think also about what your behavior is teaching them about how to treat others -- are they learning patience, kindness, forbearance, cooperative problem-solving and assuming the best of others from you? Or are they learning anger, power struggles, shouting, name calling, etc. ?[/quote]

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