Reply to So have we talked about this SAHM in Arlington Profile?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "So have we talked about this SAHM in Arlington Profile?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I think she made it up to write her blog/article to make money. Never once has someone at a store asked me what I do. Bizarre.[/quote]

Seriously.  Particularly at 11:30am on a weekday with a baby in tow, no store clerk is assuming anything other than that you're a stay-at-home mom.  It's not some radical choice like the author wants it to be.[/quote]

In her defense, when you first quit work to SAH you don't realize how much of your identity and sense of self comes from what you do for a living.  Obviously, when you work full time the better part of your day is going to spent doing work and you are routinely judged for how well you do that work.  If you do your job well you can expect to get positive feedback, raises and promotions.

Once you quit to SAH, that positive external feedback suddenly stops, you are stripped of your job title and [b]you step into a role that really isn't valued that greatly by society these days. [/b] Unless you are very intrinsically motivated to SAH and are prepared to put in the work required to make it a worthwhile experience you can start to feel a bit devalued as a person.  At the same time, you really can't expect for random people like store clerks to care that you SAH or praise you for SAH with your kids.  It can feel a little bit thankless because you are dealing 24/7 with cranky babies, explosive diapers, potty training toddlers, colic, stomach bugs and vomit, tantrums, messy playrooms......it's got to be worth it to you or you do start to feel a bit diminished as a person.  A critical or dismissive remark from a random adult can rub you the wrong way because you are tired, you have been give, give, giving with no break and no praise.  You can start to feel a little bit defensive about your choice to SAH.

At any rate, I get where the author is coming from.  But, at the same time, the author is going to have a L-O-N-G 18 years if she expects to get praised for her decision to SAH.  This is her personal choice and she either needs to be o.k. with it and get value from it OR she needs to consider returning to her job.
[/quote]

How is being a mom not highly valued? Society touts it as the greatest thing ever.  I mean if you are a SAHM with kids in school, yeah you get side eye because it’s generally a sweet gig on someone else’s dime, but you are talking about infant years and everyone looks at that with reverence.

Maybe you’ve at nicer places or are just more accomplished, but I didn’t get that many accolades at work. I did my job, got excellent performance reviews and raises, but it wasn’t like any given month someone would say ‘good job’. And to be somewhat harsh, a lot of SAHM had pretty lower prestige jobs, which is part of why it made sense to stay home rather than pay daycare — and i doubt they were getting huge affirmation there...[/quote]

Being a mom is highly valued.  Being a SAHP not so much, at least by society.  When I worked I was one of those employees who came in every day, rolled up their sleeves, got the job done and often went above and beyond as needed without complaint.  I wasn't in a super powerful position but I had achieved several promotions within the span of about 5 years, I got always got annual raises so I was doing something right.  I was often complimented on my performance by my boss and my coworkers - so tons of external validation.  When I quit work to SAH it was like suddenly being in charge of the complaint department with a rather unreasonable, demanding and cranky pants client, lol.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics