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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow.  Lots of cold people on here!  I connected with a half-sibling through Ancestry and it has been great for our lives,  we have vacationed together and our kids now have cousins.  [/quote]

It isn’t cold.  How is a half sibling you meet when you’re 40 that lived an entirely different life any different from the person in front of you at Starbucks?  Maybe you’d be best friends with them if the two f you decided to take your coffee together and sit and have a chat, then meet up again in a week.

What makes a sibling bond special is you grow up together in the same household.  You share the same childhood and many of the same memories.

I do have a half siblings.  They where born when I was away in college.  Between the age difference, another set of parents divorcing, and not spending much time together regularly, the relationship is no where near the same level as my relationship to my sibling I grew up with.  Sharing DNA is not enough to make a relationship.  [/quote]

It's sad you can't bond with people unless you lived with them as a child. [/quote]

Of course you can- you can bond with anyone.  You don't need to share DNA with them to bond. But <b>what makes a sibling special and unique isn't the DNA connection it is the growing up together</b>.  [/quote]

This is not my experience, as someone who grew up with two siblings and who has found two other half-siblings in adulthood.  I am much closer to my two half-sisters, neither of whom I knew growing up, than I am with one of my brothers that I grew up with.  It wasn't and isn't instal-love, and it's not a connection based on shared history like it is with neighbors or old friends or even close cousins.  My first sister and I had an uncanny connection from our first telephone conversation.  First of all, our voices are nearly identical.  It was like having a phone conversation with myself.  Secondly, we were 10 years apart in age but had uncannily similar life experiences and major decision points like career and relationships.  We shared health status (or rather I should say, maladies or challenges) and we kept shocking each other with common likes and dislikes and allergies and even obscure things, like our favorite poet, who pretty much no one else we knew had ever heard of.

My second sister and I did not have so many unusual items in common, but we just clicked incredibly easily.  Whereas conversation with my biological and childhood brother is often tense and stilted, and we have derision for each other's politics (he a Fox news aficionado and me a Warren donor), my second sister and I just fit together with ease, making plans, texting each other with everyday minutae and news, spending time together.  We joke that it's all the benefit of sisterhood as adults with none of the childhood resentments or rivalry.  We live hundreds of miles apart and have no obligation to make any new memories together, but somehow we have made time for each other in each other's busy lives.  I wouldn't do that for a random acquaintance in middle age.  It's just that she's my sister.  [/quote]

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