Reply to 17 Yr Not Asking Permission To Go Somewhere After School

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound kind of insane OP. A 17 year old should be able to come and go at reasonable hours without checking in with you and being at your beck and call.

When you were 17, your parents didn't have an electronic tether on you at all times, right?

My 10 and 12 year olds have more freedom to roam than you want to give your near-adults. That's just sad. [/quote]

NP.  And no.  Back in the olden days, I left a note on the kitchen table and/or called and left a message.   Now is so much easier.  Because if I decide to get dinner with a friend on the way home from work, I text the family group chat and say “last minute decision to get dinner with Larla tonight. I should be home around 8”.  DH does the same thing. We know the basic schedule. And we expect our kids to drop us a text when their schedule changes.  We’re a busy family and it’s nice to know who will be home for dinner and about what time we can expect people home.

I’m not asking asking my kids to do anything I don’t do. And I’ve never had a problem with getting kids to let me know when there is a change of plans.  Sometimes they forget, and respond to a “where are you?”  But neither has just blown me off. I don’t need to know that they are with Alex and Mark at Cava.  I do need to know that they are getting dinner with friends and will be home around 8.

OP, as the parent, you model the expectations for courtesy within the family. Do you set the example of letting kids who/ what/ where/ why/ when?  Because you should not tell your kids this is important and then not do it.  [/quote]

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