Reply to BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It does not sound like you have an invitation in hand yet.  Until you know that your children are actually invited you don't need to decide.  If your children are not invited then you get an easy pass to stay home with them.  If they are invited I would let your FIL pay for the trip.  As others have said this is your husband's only brother.  You are showing your kids how you want them to treat each other. [/quote]

I am very into family and literally every vacation I've taken for the past 5 years, since having kids, has been to visit family. I drove 10 hours to Michigan for my grandfather's 90th birthday celebration with a 3 year old and a carsick 4 month old. And it was awful. And everyone said they couldn't believe we did that although they were grateful. Guess what I learned from that? Family can be reasonable.

In this situation I would send just the DH. The expense and difficulty factor are too much. My cousins recently skipped a major family wedding because of expense and issues with young kids. No one held it against them. Sure, there was regret that they couldn't come, and they were missed, but a wedding is one day. It's not a referendum on how the relationship will be for the rest of your life -- or it shouldn't be.[/quote]

I get that, but this is DH’s only brother. As in literally the #1 wedding in his LIFE for the family to suck it up for including wife (and kids, if able to and invited). Yes, in this case it is a referendum on the relationship. It shows that his only immediate family besides his parents couldn’t bother to support him for his first wedding. That would hurt most anyone’s feelings, I think. [/quote]

I agree with you. And I agree with the PP who said OP is looking for a reason not to go. She talks about that she is saving money. So it sounds a bit disingenuous that she blames money for not going. This is her husbands only brother. [b]Weddings are really important.[/b]

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To YOU[/quote]

Weddings are important but they're not all-important. Of course DH should go, as it's his brother. That does not mean the whole family needs to go if it is extremely inconvenient or too expensive. Sometimes things just don't work out.[/quote]

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