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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Separated for 18 months. Kid is actually doing better now than he was in marriage.
I honestly don’t understand about the “damage”. Son had a few questions but they were mostly related to his his life is going to be. He was mostly upset about lack of videogames it seems (eyeroll).
[/quote]

The concern is - do you [i]really [/i]know what's going on inside his head? It is not uncommon for kids to be so worried and anxious they shut down and refuse to talk about it, or to be “taking cover” when parents are angry or depressed, or to feel protective thus keep silent to shield parents from additional worry.

I'm a child of divorce and my mom had [i]no idea[/i] what was going on inside my head. Huge anxiety, fear of abandonment, feeling like I'd done something wrong to cause daddy to go away, etc. etc.[/quote]

This.  [b]Kids are prone to telling adults what the adults want to hear.  And adults are prone to accepting it.[/b]  Kids are just not mature enough to predict how they will feel in the future and often the kids don't know the whole story.  For example, I thought my parents'divorce was the right call because they fought so much, but several years later I found out about my mother's affair and was devastated at her poor character and all the lies I realized she had been telling us.  Another example, as a teenager I never thought about how my own children would have to divide up grandparent time, but as an adult I really struggle with doing the extra travel and feel sad that my kids are getting less.  I'm not saying kids' opinions are worthless, but you have to look at them in context.

Dating is the least of your problems, Op.  You seem in denial of that.[/quote]

This is so true. [b]Your kid is reeling internally at the breakup of his home and you are reading it as 'he's doing much better.' [/b]You are so foolish. [b]Please get him counseling asap. He won't risk telling you what's really going on inside because you are his lifeline.

[/b]The lifelong issues of stepparents, stepsiblings, etc is so onerous and the person paying the price is the kid, not the parent.[/quote]
Why do you confuse me with OP? And what do step families have to do with me? I am not even dating, let alone remarrying.[/quote]

Why don't you hear what I am telling you??

You may not remarry (maybe - we'll see what happens in a few years) but Daddy will, and the new stepmom will bring a host of issues to his life that he didn't want. New step-siblings - maybe one will be especially angry at her new family situation and take it out on your kid. Is it fair, no. Will he even tell you - probably not because he doesn't want to upset you, his only caretaker.

[/quote]
Luckily his dad didn’t drink the koolaid of the blended family culture. 
He will most likely come visit if he ever remarries. To not get out of a relationship that’s bringing you down, just because one of us might remarry and there will be an evil step? Hmmmm[/quote]

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