Reply to Excessively dependent mother still completely helpless months after dad's death

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[quote=Anonymous]I would pay someone to come in daily with the job of teaching her to do these basic things she refuses to do and also to talk to her and be her companion.  I think if you do that for awhile, with the person understanding that their job is to gradually get her to do the normal stuff on her own, then you won't have to spend all that money forever, maybe just a few months.  After that you could cut back on the aide's hours to maybe just a few hours a day.

If you don't like that idea you could consider what we did with my mother when she was in her 70s and started having heart issues where she would push her alert button in the middle of the night and we had to rush over to her place or the hospital.  (Turned out she needed a pacemaker.)  What we did was buy a house together with mom with room enough for all of us and we (me, sister, brothers, spouses, adult kids, minor kids) all took care of mom until she died at 90.  It was a privilege.  And BTW we paid an aide (out of mom's money) to sit with her 8-4 M-F  while we were at work toward the end of her life but family took care of her the rest of the hours.[/quote]

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