Reply to Excessively dependent mother still completely helpless months after dad's death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She’s 88, for heaven’s sake!

If she has the money to pay for the assisted living place, let her spend it.[/quote]

And if she runs out of money, what then?  [/quote]

Then she goes into an income based program or on medicaid in a nursing home.  She's 88.  She doesn't have that long to live.  Put her in an independent living program where she will have the social or meals.  Its unreasonable to move her alone into an apartment at that age.  She probably is having memory issues.[/quote]
She IS in an independent living situation. It's a very nice facility that includes two meals - breakfast and dinner - every day, and runs a busy schedule of social activities. We didn't just move her into a regular apartment.

And as far as Medicaid, that's a big reason we do not want my mother in assisting living now. We are trying to make sure the money lasts so she can avoid Medicaid, as we've heard awful stories. If she lives as long as her mother, we could be talking about another 8 or 9 years, and the last couple of years could be in assisted living or, worse, a nursing home. We need to make sure we have money left for that, while making sure she has the care she needs now. And she does. She gets meals, has an emergency pendant, and her meds administered. Plenty of sociable neighbors, all widows, who are eager to befriend her.

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