Reply to Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It

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Reply to "Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It"

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband and I are white and Jewish. Our daughter was adopted from China as a baby. We also have a younger biological daughter. Both were raised Jewish. Both had a Bat Mitzvah. We are a Jewish family, so both of our daughters are being raised in our faith.

Being Chinese and Jewish are not mutually exclusive. Although my daughter born in China has not been particularly interested in Chinese activities such as Chinese language school, she has always been offered them. It's easy to incorporate both cultures.

We have belonged to 3 synagogues and none of them have blinked an eye about her being Asian. And she feels very comfortable in them (we have talked about it.) This isn't the 1970s. Our shul has all different types of families (white/black couples, lesbian couples, families with children who are black, gay families, Asian/White families, families with children from Asia, etc.)

Of course, not every child is the same, adopted or not. And maybe OP's niece feels very connected to her heritage or she just doesn't feel connected to Judaism or religion in general (any child might feel that way, not just those who are adopted). If that's the case then I would follow her lead. I cannot imagine that it came up suddenly - there would likely have been clues all along if the child goes to Sunday/Hebrew School and religious services.

My deal with my kids is that this is how we are raising you. You don't have to believe everything that is taught. But Judaism really encourages you to think and debate, which I like. If you decide at a later date that you don't believe something or just want to pick and choose what you do like from the faith, then so be it.

I hope she finds peace and comfort.[/quote]

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