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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  It is not a lifestyle thing.  We live a pretty normal lifestyle.  could we scale back, sure.  but we are not buying fancy clothes or fancy cars.  I grew up in a culture and enviroment that you save your money for your kids college- help them get a good start.  [b]I feel a lot of pressure to have that savings for my children.  I think he agrees, but i'm the one earning towards it.  [/b]You are all right, we won't lose our house the second he loses his job.  But I am feeling worse and worse about my job, and i had hoped to scale back. [/quote]

You have a choice to make.  Is it more important to have the extra savings for your kids and be filled with resentment at your DH and give up more years at a job you hate OR cut back on your lifestyle and have a less stressful job?  Remember, your kids will be adults in X amount of years and have a variety of ways they can pay for college I.e. community college and transfer, loans, ROTC, living at home and going close by, scholarships etc, while you only have one life to live.   While you hope your kids make good choices and whatever sacrifices you make will not only be worth it but they will appreciate it - you really don’t know.  So you have to determine your threshold of “even if doesn’t work out the way I hoped it was still worth it” when it comes to how much you are willing to sacrifice on behalf of someone who else.

Now if it’s you that wants the nicer lifestyle and can’t cut back, no shame in that, but be honest with yourself and realize you can’t expect others to have the same priorities or make them sacrifice for something only you think is important.  If you like the nicer things in life but only you and not your DH has the the drive  to work for it, you have to determine if you are willing to accept that because he isn’t going to change and living the budget lifestyle wouldn’t make you happy.[/quote]

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