Reply to Where do you think mean kids get it from?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m surprised so many people think it’s always the parents. (And I say this as a mom of a 2 year old so I have no dog in this fight yet.) But I know I went through a sort of mean phase myself and it was after years of being bullied. My parents were really, really good people and I did not learn any of it at home and they weren’t even aware of it for the most part (although were horrified at how I’d treat my little brother.) But by middle school I learned to be quick with put-downs and offering up funny but hurtful commentary at school to protect myself from attacks. I was kind of dorky and always a bit behind on trends and spent elementary years being bullied and finally just did what those kids did to maintain some social standing. So maybe the elementary bullies had shit parents but it was those KIDS who created a whole new group of bullies. [/quote]

So your PARENTS never noticed the change in behavior or tried to figure out why you treated your brother? I tried to hide the harassment I took at school at first, but I had a good relationship with my PARENTS. They noticed something was wrong & I was able to confide in them. They helped me fix it. I never became a bully. Weird, huh?[/quote]

Um, yes they punished me for being mean to my brother, talked about the importance of siblings and having a life-long bond, the impact it would have on him to grow up with a big sister he looked up to making fun of him etc. I was 12 so I rolled my eyes and sulked in my room but didn’t get the big picture. If you think that “good” parents magically can change tween/teen attitudes or that parents know exactly what goes on in middle school then god help you when your kids get there. I won’t be so naive to think I have that much power or control. With teens I believe you mostly need to hope that how you act and what you say to your kids will sink in by adulthood and they will become decent people who appreciate all that you did but it’s crazy to think that they’ll magically get it while going through everything that adolescence entails. [/quote]

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