Reply to Do you stay friends with the families that bail for the suburbs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This isn’t something to sweat.  Many “friendships” among families with kids in this region are somewhat superficial and based on the fact that the parents or kids struck up a friendship in the neighborhood or at pre-school/elementary. When those ties are severed, the friendships tend to die quickly, aggravated by the fact that people around here are so busy.  It might be different if you or your kids have developed really close friendships with these families that are leaving, but that doesn’t sound like the case here. They are more interested in fitting in with their new neighbors, and you’re ready to judge them for it as well, so just move on. [/quote]

+1 I grew up here and have old friends who live in the city. I am amused/annoyed by the cliquey parent friendships based on their young children’s school attendance, often combined with being neighbors. These “friendships” are what older generations would consider just being neighbors, but some of these folks take it very seriously and personally if you don’t stay at the same school and stay in the same house.

If the kids miss each other, make an effort. Otherwise, look for adult friends based on your shared values, not your kids and your address - it is much more fulfilling and lasting.[/quote]

+1. It's called mom friends. They are a different sort of friend/good acquaintance, not unlike those office friends you feel close to but drift away from when someone takes a new position. You are thrown together and connect over being in the same place in life, and the common bond of kids, PTOs, etc. I've had one or two genuine friendships develop out of the dozen or so I had when my kids are young. In those cases, our kids aren't friends anymore as they developed different interests. Occasionally we get together with the other families (as opposed to just the moms) and the kids seem to not mind the time together - but they are more like the distant cousins you see once or twice a  year. Which IMO is fine. [/quote]

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