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[quote=Anonymous]Your H watches too much porn. My W and I are as as kinky as it gets and up for most anything either suggests. We are very open about discussing our deepest fantasies and at least trying to make them happen. I will do anything she asks, and she is the same where it involves us. Just us. I'm not willing to add other people to the mix. I'm sure not turned on by her with another guy and she would go crazy to think of me even kissing another woman. But we know people who are into it and I'm happy for them. Although one must always wonder if they are both equally into it. I've also known women who want along with it because, in their mind, the relationship was already over and indulging the guy's fantasy of getting with another guy was just as good a transition point to leaving as any.

Your H, on the other hand, is an abusive asshole. He expects you to be his fetish dispenser, playing out the porn clip in his head for his own enjoyment while not caring how you feel. And this has a good chance of backfiring on him if you do because the reality of his feelings may be the exact opposite of his fantasy. Then he will look down on you for letting him push you onto it. Especially if you do actually enjoy another man even a bit more than you were supposed to, or especially more than him.

If you are not up for this, if you never asked him for it, if this isn't a shared fantasy you have both discussed at length, like the past year, and the thought of it turns you while at the same time you know your marriage is safe no matter what happens, DON'T DO IT. There is a big difference between indulging a partner's kink that you may not be totally into, but at best it doesn't bother you so you go along to make him happy, and this.

"He tells me everyone has kinks and that I should just give him his." There is an expression in the kink community that goes, your kink is not my kink and that's OK. It's one of the dumbest things I've heard because, a lot of people's kinks are NOT OK and some of them are really F'd up. And some, like your AH H's kink is a real threat to you. No one is under any obligation to just "give into" their partner's kink.

Do you want to put an end to this? Tell him, you will go along but it has to be on your terms only. Tell him, you should naturally be the one in control in this situation and he needs to simply obey. Then tell him, you've decided to look for a man, on your own to have sex with and you will then come him and tell him every sordid detail while he lives his fantasy. But he can't be there. Tell him you need to build the sexual tension and it isn't far to the new guy if you've had sex with H recently, so he will have to accept that their will be no sex until you find the man to replace him in the bedroom, just as he fantasizes about. Then, if you choose and your new lover is OK with it, maybe you will let him listen in from behind closed doors sometime. Or maybe not. Tell him that is your version of his fantasy, only slightly changed, see what he says. And remind him, that pass is not available to him for that is not part of your fantasy. If he wants to be a true cuckold, then then he needs to obey you. Let him know, that you are released from any marital commitments you made regarding sex with other men, but he is not. You will have sex with whomever you choose, whenever you like, and it's not for him to ask about. Perhaps you will indulge him when in his fantasy after the fact, or not.

See if he is willing to go along with that and get back to us. Of course, you don't actually have to do anything once he agrees. But you don't have to tell him what you do, or don't do either.

Damn!! 
Rubber meet road!

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