Reply to How do you handle DH being on a different page when it comes to parenting style

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "How do you handle DH being on a different page when it comes to parenting style"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]With the limited information your provided it is unclear if you DH just lays around allowing everything to crumble around him, or if he is a good and loving father who cares about the major things and lets the lesser things slide.

If it is the former, then i would suggest counseling and discussions about where you BOTH can compromise and find common ground you will both enforce.

if it is the latter then I would applaud him for being a wonderful father. You can't force someone to parent exactly how you want. You can expect a certain 'buy in' and common ground, but you need to respect his ideas and thoughts (unless they put the kids in danger) as much as he should respect yours. Compromise isn't about 'giving' in to the other, it is about finding what works best for your entire family and letting go of your old way of doing things (no resentment).

He shouldn't have to hide things from you (turning off the tv) because that sets it up to show the kids that we need to hide stuff from mom or she will flip out. You need a stable environment with some basic rules that keep everyone safe, but as your kids age you need to teach them the skills they need for independence. 
Don't be the parent that has a page long of rules and expectations and judges anyone who dares to question or break them. No one wants to be around that person and you will never be the "FUN" parent. I don't even think that is a compliment really. While i am fun and the kids and I have a blast together they don't go around calling me the 'fun' parent. I would much rather be the respected parent. The parent they can trus and the parent who is always there for them. 
Right now it sounds like they will avoid you like the plague when they get older and actually start (gasp) hanging with friends drinking soda and pizza. OH NO!!! Or when they try smoking or drinking, or want to get felt up by a boy. They will NOT come to you. I can guarentee you this. You need to lighten up, enjoy this ride and realize there is more to parenting than a 7 oclock bedtime being enforced.

Don't be 'that' parent.[/quote]

I would say it's the latter, with a few tweaks, as sometimes (in my opinion), the kids' safety and wellbeing is an issue. [another example--he was really lax about using carseats and booster seats...didn't feel like it was a big deal if the kids occasionally rode without them...I really disagreed with this and felt that he would need to get on board with always using them (which he said he would, but then didn't).]

It must sound like I am very anal about eating, and judgmental with the kids, but it's not that at all. I just don't think soda is something we should keep in the house. Pizza is fine, pretty much everything is fine (although i do wish he would help me in encouraging our youngest to try fruits and vegetables--right now, I'm the only one who works on that). I'm also not judgmental when the kids come to me with classmate problems, school issues, etc.  although I can see that posters are picturing me that way.[/quote]

His thinking that the car seats were "optional" would have resulted in him not watching the kids.  Period.  I can loosen up on things like an occasional soda but actual safety issues?  Hell no.  That is my hard line.[/quote]

Not watching the kids?  Hard line?

Might as well divorce.  Then you don't have to worry about him watching the kids.  [/quote]

I'm not going to leave my kids with anyone who views car seats as optional. The end.  I don't care if you are Grandma, Grandpa, Dear old Auntie Sue or the bestest nanny ever. If you don't take basic safety measures seriously then I don't leave my kid alone with you.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics