Reply to How do you handle DH being on a different page when it comes to parenting style

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, I haven't read all the replies, but OP, this is my situation.  It's really frustrating at times.  I've had to relax a lot of stuff.  Things that I feel are no compromises,  I pretty much have to do myself.  I am always the one enforcing work.  I used to worry they would associate me with rules and him with fun but t I actually feel like now I'm the favorite parent (not that it's a contest, ahem).  They come to me when they need help with things, they come to me when they have something to talk about, like issues at school.  They go to dad if they want to order pizza.  Don't get me wrong, they love him and he's lots of fun but they do seem to see his limits.

As they are getting older 8 and 11, they see more the value of me and all my rules.  One good example is summer reading.  I have boys who don't like to read.  Oldest is supposed to be prepared to discuss his summer book on the first day of school.  He's also a pretty shy kid.  He was complaining that I've been making him read 20 min a day.  Just yesterday Husband had the kids home all day and they didn't read.  When I got home after work, Husband (in front of kids) says,, "it's getting late, do they have to read?  I say yes.  Oldest sulks.  At bedtime I say, You were pretty mad I made you read, weren't you?  He said, "Yes."  I said "Well, I just imagined how you'll feel if you show up on the first day and you are the only one who cannot discuss the book.  I think you'd feel embarrassed and I don't want that for you."  He said, "Yeah, I'd hate that"  Inside my head, I danced a jig. [/quote]

OP here..wow, I could have written this post, except substituting math for reading. I do also see that the kids seem to come to me more than DH when they need help with issues of substance. But they complain a lot about how strict I am (and despite what it might seems from my posts, I really don't think I'm that strict). 
There are periods where the dynamic doesn't bother me, and I really am grateful for his loving and easygoing good nature...but other times, the burden I feel having to do just about all of the unpleasantness of parenting really gets to me, and I feel the resentment creeping in. Maybe I need some kind of mantra or coping strategy for when that happens. I also worry a bit about what I'm seeing in terms of the habits my kids are developing.[/quote]

Have you ever thought maybe he wishes you were more fun with the kids so he wouldn't have to balance out your rules? 
Maybe he WANTS to enforce rules but understands the need for fun and pizza and a movie. He thinks he has to be the one to provide it since you won't. [/quote]

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