Reply to Father w/Alzheimer's & Driving

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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all who have provided input. To say this is difficult would be an understatement.  I brought up the issue with my Mom once more before she and my Dad left town. I got back a curt reply to "back off". That it's been discussed with my Dad's doctor and he would be obligated to notify the DMV if he no longer felt my Dad should drive, and the understanding is my Dad is only to drive "locally".  Mind you, I'm sure they underplay a lot the little time they spend with his doctor every couple months or so, just as they do to us.

Then I was told that when I come down to visit later this month that I am not to go through "their things" as my Mom needs some semblance of "normalcy"  during this process.  This is likely due to the fact there are guns in the house that are not well secured from my father, which is another issue my brother and myself have been hammering at my Mom about. But also probably is code for a warning against taking my Dad's keys to his car and other recreational vehicles.

I was also told to stay at their home to wait for my brother to arrive from out of state rather than accompany them to my Dad's next doctor's appointment next week. Because, you know, the landscapers could steal a key if they left one out under a mat or a rock for my brother the couple hours they are gone.....

Then my Mom concluded that she was looking forward to getting away to escape everything "at home." As if by leaving my Mom thinks she and my Dad can escape his Alzheimer's...

Needless to say, I haven't spoken to my folks since they left.  I saw on Facebook they made it to their destination. However, I did also see via the Find My iPhone app (I have my Dad's phone synced to it so I can try to track his whereabouts if needed),  I see they left to return home earlier than they had planned, and are traveling back a unusual route and leaving at very early hours. So I suspect my Dad is having a hard time (he has sundowining symptoms pretty bad) and now my Mom is trying to get him back quickly.

I can only hope the past 2 or 3 weeks have driven home to my Mom that my Dad is worse than she is pretending and that she clearly sees now he cannot drive. If not, next week is going to be ugly. [/quote]

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