Reply to 11 and 9 yr old got into a serious fight

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[quote=Anonymous]Your post struck home OP - I'm on a road trip with my 10yo & 15yo boys. They do fight; mostly instigated by the 10yo who must be beginning puberty and is just filled with drama and energy even in the base case. His brother is very slow to anger but he's also huge so escalation is a big problem!

Vacations definitely bring this stuff to a head because your patterns are disrupted and often people are in closer/more intense contact than they might be in normal schedules. But for us at least, vacations can help because the kids do have fun together (again, somewhat inevitably simply because they're doing most of the same things.)

My younger kid is very competitive so he likes to take on his brother just for fun. And he is quick to throw a punch in part because he knows his brother won't punch back. We're constantly working with him on anger control and disengagement, not so much because of brotherly drama but because I don't want this to become his default with others.

But don't assume the older kid doesn't bear some responsibility too. As I said my older son is completely averse to physical violence, perhaps because he's just so big he's always had to be careful. But like all teenagers, he can be snarky and superior esp with his younger brother. I have to hold him accountable for their fights -- and the same might be true with your tween daughter.

All in all, they'll survive - and hopefully so will your vacation! [/quote]

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