Reply to Is this a never event in a marriage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is this a never event in a marriage?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I don’t know why when I first read the post I thought you were talking about one of the love languages not an actual foreign language.  Anyway, I think either surprise and/or gently setting the record straight could have been expressed as a question like “you do?”.  That allows for the possibility that we have differing perceptions or definitions of what it means to speak x language versus you intentionally lying.  The way the wife responded was very embarrassing because it was the double whammy of judging  his efforts to learn the language to date (he doesn’t even know the basics) plus basically saying he was lying because it was so far from the truth that it couldn’t be his perception.  Personally I think she was feeling some sort of way about things in their marriage and expressed it by putting down her spouse in front of co-workers which wasn’t cool.

I think the “line” so to speak with spouses is asking a question with an inflection gives the spouse a chance to clarify and you sort of leave it at we may see things differently versus all out calling the person a liar/putting them down or arguing about it in front of other people.  Example, I might say in a group, oh when we sent in baked goods for school .  Then DH responds with “we?”  Then I might day, okay Larlo made the cupcakes but I made sure they got to school.  Then maybe everyone laughs because they know Larlo makes the best dessert.  That exchange is a far cry from DH responding with something like “what do you mean we, you don’t know how to boil water much less make a dessert”.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics