Reply to Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria: valuable for PD etc or is there better

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]people of similar backgrounds group together, race/class/religion/politics etc it's completely normal and expected[/quote]

Are they though, particularly in this area? This has not been either of my kids experiences in school or among their friends outside of school at all. They are in high school and have never had a group of friends with a predominant racial profile.[/quote]

In my experience when white people say that, they are exaggerating. Not on purpose. They see 2-3 non-white kids in the otherwise all-white 10-12 person friend and think “Look how diverse!” Once I went to pick up my biracial DD from a pool party. There were eight girls. Two were mixed race. The others were white girls of various hair colors. The hosting mom snapped a photo of the girls and said “It’s just like a Benneton ad.” She honestly meant it. It really looked incredibly diverse to her.[/quote]

+1000[/quote]

The assumptions you all make! You just can't believe [b]there might actually be a genuinely diverse group of friends in the world that is not majority white[/b]. That's sad.[/quote]

There might be. It just isn’t born out in studies about friendship and social circles.

Anecdotally: No one white who has said to me that their friend group is not mostly white has ever shown me evidence though. When they start naming, it turns out the group is 2/3 to 3/4 white. I know people of color who are in truly diverse groups, but it is usually 3/4 people of color of different races or ethnicities and just a couple white people. My own friend group mirrors this: lots of black, Latinx, and biracial people, a few Asians, and two white people.

Many whites are simply too uncomfortable being the minority to form and remain in groups that are 1/2 or more people of color. In my friend group, one of the white women is married to a black man and has biracial children. The other lived in West Africa for a decade. Otherwise, the rest of my white friends probably can count only one other person of color as a real friend rather than simply a coworker, a relative’s partner/spouse, or a neighbor with whom they are sociable. This doesn’t mean I think they are racists.

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