Reply to Parents visiting -- Am I right to be upset about this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I just read over your post again. Yes you are right to be upset. Your parents are here for the weekend— that’s Friday Saturday and part of Sunday, and when your mom gets here she drops the news that “her at risk student is playing at a venue and it’s a must see on Friday night”. 
Then she acts all innocent and suggests that dinner at 9:30 will be an option. Doesn’t ask if OP wants to eat a very late dinner, which of course she doesn’t. 
I do think this is a dynamic that has played out with OP many times in which these at risk children she works with are the center of her moms life and OP has been asked many times to praise her mom for this. As for going to the performance— it just seems very manipulative to me. It also makes me question the timing of this long awaited visit. 
[b]If you have ever had to deal with people who always flaunt their charity work this way you know how uncomfortable being manipulated this way is. [/b][/quote]

What an absolute monster!
Charity work?? She should be tarred and feathered for having the unmitigated nerve to save at risk youth from a life of crime, drugs and poverty.

For shame, for shame.

[/quote]

Charity work is unassailable, right?

I had a parent like that.  Have heard all my life how wonderful they were and how they helped so many people.  But they were a poor, negligent parent.  Sucked for me (and still does).[/quote]

Do you see the difference?

OP's post has the tone of a petulant, immature & whiny child, where yours has the tone of an adult who has accepted their parent for who they are. Even though they suck, *they are who they are* & no amount of complaining will change that.

It sounds like you've accepted that your parent is sucky and you've *adjusted your expectation* for them... OP has not.

What's the old saying, "when someone shows you who they are, believe them"? 
OP really needs to believe her mother is who she really is.

If her mom was negligent or distant as a child, what makes her think this would change in adulthood?

OP REALLY needs to accept who they are, move on and vow to do better with her own children.

AJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS OP, you'll be much, much happier once you've done that. [/quote]

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