Reply to Mad at my kids. Mad at myself, feeling like a failure

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That sucks, OP. I'd try to develop a little empathy. "How would you feel if we didn't put in any effort in your birthday?" [/quote]

I’d go a little further and say, “Seems like celebrating birthdays isn’t important to you two. That’s fine, [b]you don’t need to-yours included[/b].”[/quote]
You are dealing with kids here. Not adults. Fairly young kids, too. This isn’t appropriate. 
I would rather not have my kids give me anything that have them threatened by my spouse to come up with a birthday card/gift. [/quote]

It’s not about giving, it’s about participating in a family activity to acknowledge a birthday. Yes, kids are self-centered but that doesn’t mean you can’t start teaching them to be considerate of others’ feelings and that it’s not about them all the time. I have an acquaintance who can’t be bothered to acknowledge/celebrate anybody else’s birthday, but when hers comes around she expects people to go all out. Wonder how she got that way. I don’t expect my kids to give me anything but they do participate in birthday preparations.[/quote]
So teach them. But the bolded is where (for me) it crosses a line and becomes a threat. It doesn’t teach them to be thoughtful- just persuades them to participate so they get what they want (to celebrate their birthday). [/quote]

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