Reply to Maternal Instinct Isn’t Real, But the Myth Makes Parenting Harder

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a mom of 3 and don’t feel a maternal instinct, never did. I love my kids and of course take care of them, but don’t feel the “mama bear” thing, whatever it is.  When DH was hoping I would become a SAHM (I did for a little while), I would sometimes ask him to think about how he feels after x hours of being with the kids. That is exactly how I feel, too.  I don’t enjoy or dislike it any more than he does.

Anyways, it works for us. He does almost as much of the emotional and physical work with the kids as I do.[/quote]

Same. I'm an excellent mom. I read to my kids, hug them, care for them, love them, but didn't feel the maternal instinct. I actually felt pretty depressed when my kids were first born and wondered where my instinct was. What was wrong with me? Pretty sure nothing is wrong with me though. Crying doesn't spur me to action. I'm calm and collected when they cry. I'm a pro at dealing with tantrums because they don't frazzle me. I don't feel some innate need to protect them at all costs or jump into burning houses. My mom couldn't deal when my babies would cry in the car (they rarely did, but all babies hate car seats sometimes) and I didn't care. I knew it was safety and they had to be buckled in. I'm firm and loving and I think I parent just like DH does. Still raising my kids, but I feel like they're well adjusted, happy and caring individuals. [/quote]

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