Reply to Class and cultural differences with nanny

Forum Index » Childcare other than Daycare and Preschool

Reply to "Class and cultural differences with nanny"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My relatives are like this.  They moved from South Asia in the late 90s but still haven't fully assimilated.  They do the same things as your nanny.  Ignoring prudent advice, going to the ER for non-emergencies, etc.  I don't think it's a class or cultural thing.  [/quote]

Op here, ok what is it then, if not a class or a cultural thing?[/quote]

Individual cognitive style. Lower IQ, learning/language disability, ADHD, who knows.

And I am not using those terms as an insult as some do on these boards. My younger son, the light of my heart, has low average IQ and learning disabilities. I am hopeful that as an adult he could follow very clear instructions like those you gave, even in a new country, but I don't know for sure. He is great with routines, struggles with new.

I'm sure she's a loving person, but as others have noted, do you think she could call an ambulance for your children if necessary? Call the police if someone was breaking in? Get all the kids out of the house if she saw a fire or smelled smoke? For some things you need someone who can think logically and quickly.[/quote]

Op here. I work from home full time, so I’m here. It’s a blessing and a curse. She does take them to the zoo, storytime, park, etc., but we don’t live in DC and are in an area where all of this stuff is in a 2-3 mile radius from our house. So I’m able to tolerate some of these issues more than I would if I was far away all day.

I do think she could handle calling 911-they actually do answer in Spanish!

Her issues are more with big picture administrative tasks-she seems to REALLY struggle there. With the immediate stuff right in front of her, she’s great. [/quote]

Not PP but I posted separately that it sounds like ADHD.  Not being able to follow through on non-routine tasks is perhaps the number one characteristic of ADHD.  Someone with ADHD will struggle with follow through (like sending in the additional paperwork) or breaking down a task that seems too big.  They will struggle with remembering to do non-routine tasks on time (registering a car).  With ADHD, it's not a comprehension problem so much as procrastinating and forgetting those types of things.  Most adults with ADHD also have some level of anxiety and depression about their ability to perform those types of tasks.  On the other hand, someone with ADHD can perform very well in positions that are immediate and hands-on (like child care or anything else that is stimulus/response).  Just don't ask them to create a lesson plan and follow through on it.

My dad almost certainly had high IQ and ADHD.  He was an auto mechanic and was always the senior journeyman where ever he worked because they could give him any car with a difficult or undiagnosed problem and he could fix it.  But in any situation that involved future planning and follow through, he didn't do so well.  Someone with ADHD can learn techniques to mitigate these issues, but it's really intensive and it's unlikely a grown adult in a working class job will significantly change.

[/quote]

Op here. Thank you for this analysis. Wish I could change my post title to “nanny with ADHD”. I still do think that her being a recent immigrant adds another layer of difficulty here though, but it may not be the primary driver.

So what do I do? Just try to be more detached and let her fail/suffer? What I’m doing now isn’t working. I do think it helps her a little bit but it makes me crazy.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics