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[quote=Anonymous]This focus on happily doing chores is silly IMO. Why should kids happily do chores? Chores are annoying. I don't happily do chores and I certainly don't expect it from my kids. I ask them to do things and give them time frames to do it, but I do not expect my teens to be cheerful bland robots. If they grumble, fine. I grumble too about chores. Sometimes they roll their eyes or whatever, because they are teens and not always great at managing emotions; most of the time I remain calm, sometimes I lose it and then try to do better. If OP was at my house on one of the grumbling days, she would probably judge or whatever she does. We also don't live any sort of 1950s imaginary life. We both work, kids have electronics that I monitor but don't restrict too much so long as they've exercised and sometimes not even that. It sounds like OP would be horrified.

But we are very close. My teens are constantly giving me hugs. We genuinely like to spend time with each other. I mean, sometimes they are on my every last nerve, but you know what? I am probably on their last nerves too.

Also, while my family has SNs, we are enormously fortunate that none of the teens have mental illness or emotional disability. This is luck, and I am deeply appreciative (all the while understanding that it could change). I think some teens that seem disengaged are in truth struggling with mental illness and they and their families are doing.the best they can.

The judging in this thread is ... something else. There is no formula for kids. You get what you get, and you manage and sometimes it is sublime. If you wanted unemotional robots, well, best of luck to you.[/quote]

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