Reply to DS’s friend’s dad only wants to hang out with DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure why everyone is concluding that this guy doesn't like spending time with his own family? Clearly it's that he doesn't like OP and her bratty kids.  Also, it's normal to want adult time with your own friends.  Not everyone likes to socialize in a group -- much less with a bunch of kids and spouses around.  [/quote]

+1. Here's what's going on. This guy has spent the last 10 years gradually having friends drift away because he and his friends have all been more and more focused on their families. He's met a few other dads through school and kids' activities, but finally really "clicks" with OP's DH as a friend. So he wants to do what friends do, find some time to hang out, especially because he's going through a rough patch in his marriage and could use another sane dude to talk to without the combined total of 6 kids running around. He loves his own family, is lukewarm on OP's brood, and in any event "more time around kids" is not the missing ingredient from his life. The guy would rather that he and OP's DH grab a bite, but dinners are family time, so he proposes a drink after dinner at 9pm. This being DCUM, OP exaggerates it to 11pm for dramatic effect. DCUM commenters get a hold of it, and suddenly OP's DH's friend is on the DL, hates his family, is getting a divorce, and only ever wants to go clubbing at 1am.

Seriously, guys. I know the mantra of DCUM is "if it makes you feel good or is something you want to do, then you're a bad parent," but it's really ok to want to grab a drink with a friend. OP, if your husband doesn't want to, he should say "no." If he wants to and it's something only occasional, he should say "yes" and you should let him. He should give you the same courtesy next time you want to gossip over a gimlet with the girls.[/quote]

This.  I'm a mom, but you explain exactly. "Even more time around kids" (including your crazy kids that you let destroy my house) is not what is missing in my life at this moment. 
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