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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, you need to stop policing his feelings.  Resenting that he doesn't feel the way you think he "should" feel is unhealthy.  He loves his kids, but you think he's also supposed to enjoy every moment with them , and that's unrealistic.  No one enjoys every moment.  And if he's working FT and then spending all the rest of the time as a family, then neither of you are getting any time on your own to recharge and connect with other interests or each other.

It's not unusual for mothers to be in Mommy-mode in the early years, and to feel like demands for your time and attention are just one more thing you have to do, but you have to do it.  If there are things that would legitimately help you do this, like him picking up more of the evening childcare/household tasks so that you end up with a few minutes of free time in the evenings, or whatever, then ask for those things, but it's not just about how much work he does or doesn't do, it's about you recognizing the need to stay connected.  Because if you don't, your marriage will suck.  I'm not saying you're the bad guy here, just that the dynamic you're in isn't a good one.

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You can’t force anyone to “like” something or judge them for doing so or not. If he is rude to you or the kids or passive aggressive ok but that is the problem then.  Seriously 2 and 1 are hard ages. And spending whole days as a family.  I am married to a daddy martyr who expects that and life is soo much better now that we tag team, give each other time off and sometimes even talk about something else.  Either elaborate on the real problem or you are really asking too much. [/quote]

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