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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here:

You’re all totally right in that I probably have neglected my marriage somewhat. However, I guess I get frustrated when he can’t seem to take a longer term view of things, like how the physically demanding and exhausting aspect of parenting will get better in a few years. Thank you to the PP who implied as much! I’m hoping that the more interactive the girls get, the more he enjoys spending time with them. He’s not very silly or playful so I feel like he doesn’t know what to do half the time and doesn’t enjoy the way they want to play.

To the PP who asked about his level of engagement with our first: he was actually great! Granted, I got pregnant again when our first was only 5 months old but there was not this underlying discontentment with his life then like there is now. (And he was totally in agreement to have another, btw! Our first was, and still is, a fantastic sleeper in case you were wondering. Ha.) 
He also has a lot going on at work and feels undervalued there, which probably affects his overall mood and disposition. He just used to be the happiest, most steady and patient guy, and now I feel like I’m walking on eggshells when we are all together so he will enjoy himself! [/quote]

Don’t have any more children for awhile.  Mine were three years apart and it was great.  I don’t how you both thought you’d handle a new baby with a 1 year old.  That’s horrible planning on your part, and now your house is stressful.  Nothing to do but stick it out.  Don’t have anymore children for at least 3-4 years.[/quote]

I mean, IMO, I actually love having two kids this close in age and, although exhausting, would do it again! It’s my DH who is struggling (with himself, his career, and his role as a dad) and in turn, making things harder than they actually are. Of course, I’d never say that to him, and I  try to encourage and support him but my ability to do that is limited by time, energy, resources, and ultimately, his own willingness to accept that this is kind of just how life is right now. [/quote]
You are being oddly dismissive of whatever’s going on with him at work right now.  Are you actually partners in the sense that you care about and support each other, or is just about what he does to fulfill your fantasy of the idyllic family?[/quote]

I agree. PLEASE do not have any more children for several more years if you value your marriage at all. I would die for my kids but my relationship with DH is extremely important to me, and I’m willing to do what it takes to keep it healthy.[/quote]

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