Reply to Stuck in house with conservative in laws- help me keep my cool

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- I obv don’t know the history between you and your in-laws but let me play devil’s advocate for a bit.

The examples you listed aren’t racist. His opinion that rich people shouldn’t pay for poor people to go to college has some merits. Perhaps you could talk about parameters for college for those who can’t afford it.  Maybe a required stem major so that kids aren’t graduating with degrees that they can’t find employment and $$$ in loans?

As for the presidential remark, I’m of the opinion that you salute the office, not the man (or woman). So, yes, you shouldn’t disrespect the president whatever his/her name may be.

Northerners (and southerners) do want to tear down confederate statues. There are some who believe that they are a tribute to America’s darkest time. There are others who think that removing them is an attempt to erase history without holding those accountable. I’m not comfortable personally with confederate statues but I see that it’s a slippery slope (will we eventually burn Mt Vernon to the ground due to its slave past?).

Bottom line is that your FIL has opinions and, while he may in fact be an awful person, nothing you mentioned above tells me that. He has strong opinions. Share yours and back them up with facts because feelings aren’t facts. You may be surprised that he may be more flexible than you thought. [/quote]

Devil's advocate = he's right and here's why. Disregard this person, OP.

Flexibility goes both ways. And people who are so in your face about politics and religion are often the least flexible. There is no point in engaging (esp when the remarks likely to come back to OP are like the ones in this post, which aren't "facts" but opinion.) So, do not engage.

You simply state "Well, not everyone agrees on that point. But, I don't really feel that it would be productive to argue about it. Let's just enjoy the time together by (going to the park or whatever." If he keeps on, "LIke I said, I'm not discussing it." Keep repeating. If he still doesn't get the hint, you say "Bill, I have repeatedly said I don't wish to discuss politics/issues. I don't want to argue or ruin the trip by fighting. If you want to, then I'll go for a walk/take the kids or ice cream or whatever." Then, do not engage.

It's "his house" but you are not forced to endure his diatribes. And, if he cannot be respectful, I'd think seriously about limiting trips there or, if you have to go, filling the schedule with activities so you don't have to deal with it.

My FIL is like you describe. And he's finally learned to just zip it. He starts, and I just get up and leave the room now. [/quote]

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