Reply to Husband said I was a monster last night

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not OP but I just want to point out that for most of us, crying is just a physiological response. There is no choice in the matter, so it can’t be manipulative. At least I could not physically force myself to cry. I guess there are actors who can, but I don’t think it’s normal. If she is crying, she is genuinely experiencing those feelings. It doesn’t mean she’s always right, and of course she could hide the crying or try to explain it to him in a kinder way. But a man who becomes furious *because* his wife is crying sounds like someone who is feeling guilty.[/quote]

By the time you are an adult, you should have learned basic emotional regulation. Unless you also cry out in public and cry at work and cry all the time, you can control it. And if you are crying all the time with no control- you should seek professional help. Saying you can't control crying is like saying you can't control yelling - that physiologically when angry, your voice raises. And her feelings are irrelevant at the moment her husband is trying to tell her how he feels. Saying - but waaahhhhh - look at me crying, look at my feelings - poor me - I am such a say crying woman with all these sad feelings - waaahhhhh - make me feel okay  you are responsible for my happiness and emotional regulation  and bad you for making me feel sad and making me cry -  waaaaahhhhhh - when someone tries to tell you how they feel is manipulative.[/quote]

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