Reply to Husband said I was a monster last night

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[quote=Anonymous]

Posters keep making this about OP, when her husband clearly is being an awful jerk right now. Shame on anyone who is defending her complete boar of a husband.

OP, you need a different tactic to get what you want: a partner who communicates better when he's upset and knows there are minimal decency rules he has to abide by.

You need to stay calm, not yell or appear to lose your temper. This is hard because he's acting like a tantruming child right now. In fact, you really need to stay as calm and rational as when you're dealing with a toddler!

You are not going to back off your demand that he apologize for the verbal attack that started everything. But you are going to be patient. Carry on as usual, but when he's calm, perhaps in a day or two, you sit him down and explain that this is why he can't come home late at night and pick a fight! It's because no one can behave well when they're tired and are taken by surprise. He has to be mature, patient, and communicate in a calm way, to get what he wants (this is what you're modeling).

As you're talking, you're trying to get him to express regret for what he did, and say that he won't do it again. You can express regret that you were angry in the morning and tried to force an apology (this is the ONLY teeny-weeny mistake you made, last night you did nothing wrong). Then both of you can move on to address the substance of his complaint.

Good luck, OP. Your husband does not sound like a catch.
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