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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,  you knew your dd was unhappy and depressed, but now you are upset that the school is telling you that? You are focusing on the wrong things. She pushed back about going to the therapist, and yet she was still miserable?

I think you should seek a therapist for yourself and also go to therapy with her. There is a lot going on here that is impossible for us to unpack over the internet, but your anger about them telling you this is not a normal response when you already knew she was unhappy.

I think you need a new therapist for her and for both of you to go together for family therapy as well as her going on her own. You can turn this around. I have friends who have been through this and it is hard but recognizing that they needed to be part of the solution made a huge difference. [/quote]OP, I agree with this pp.  If your daughter won't go see a therapist, you should go see one and work on how to deal with what is happening in your family.  I agree with the other pps that the school should have told you sooner but the fact that they're telling you at all means that there is something serious going on with your daughter.  I remember when I was spiraling into depression and self-loathing at my private school and the school called my parents in to talk about me.  When my folks came home, my mom seemed to be dismissing it all.  It wasn't till I took an overdose of sleep aids and went to the school nurse that my folks got me help.  Obviously you've been aware of what's going on with your daughter and you even offered to take her to a therapist.  That's wonderful.  But if she won't go, you should go.  I know you're mad at the school but you realize that your kid is in crisis, right?   Don't waste time being mad at the school.  Work on getting help for you and your family.  I hope things get better.[/quote]

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