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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This has given me a lot to think about... I think trust but verify (who said that—thanks) is appealing, but this nagging feeling...

As for a threesome, no. I don’t think I could watch  her with another person even a girl . I would be pissed.

So if the women on here, you think you’d text all the time with a new lesbian friend? And I mean as soon as we get the kids to bed and until after I’ve fallen asleep and in the morning pretty much when I leave. It just feels like a lot. I guess I should ask to see her phone. But I don’t want to be an asshole. [/quote]

She may be having an emotional affair with this woman but not really be aware that that's what is happening. If you get negative and accusatory, I think it's easy for her to fall back on "you're controlling!" and "I guess I'm not allowed to have friends now." I think it will be more effective to focus on the positive: "I'd really like to have some screen free time with you every day so we can connect." Can you two go away for a long weekend? It's tough. I'm a woman and my (now) ex wife left me for a woman coworker. In retrospect, the only thing that would have changed that outcome is putting more effort into my marriage earlier on.[/quote]

NP:  I agree that being controlling etc is not the way to go. If I had a redo I would say to her that you’ve noticed that she showing friend more attention etc and you think it’s at the expense of your marriage.  Indicate that if that is what she wants then that’s her choice but you aren’t waiting around. Then watch and observe.   [/quote]

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