Reply to Tweens dropping one friend from the group

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Tweens dropping one friend from the group"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the parent of a child who had this happen to them, I resent some of the responses here. It is totally okay for friends and friend groups to shift, and unfortunately that means some kids will be pushed out of a group. However, to act as if it is always “caused” by the kid who is pushed out is to ignore the reality that is middle school aged kids can just be mean and seek to exclude someone for something as simple as they don’t have as much money, they are not physically maturing as quickly, they have a learning disability and are not as “fast” intellectually, they are not as athletic, whatever.  [/quote]

OP of another post (about the "trip" and the exclusion).  My DC was friends with (now tens) for about ten years, then suddenly, after one trip (which the host mom purposefully excluded my DC from) poof! All DC's close friends of ten years were (quite literally) suddenly out of the picture.  If I have to be honest, I would say that the other teens were maturing at a very different speed.  All good kids, just different. My teen is not immature, but I have heard what other teens think of that group, and it is not favorable.  If the group was nice about matters (if one of them had said "we should really include Larlo, since there is plenty of room!"), I would intervene, but it is good to know both sides.  The exclusion from the trip is just an example, so in reality, are those good friends?  Probably not.

The situation is not always such that there is something "wrong" with the excluded kid.  Sometimes there is a Queen Bee mom at the helm, micromanaging matters.  In the case of the trip, the mom had relocated back to this area, and wanted to take matters into her own hands. Never a good idea. [/quote]

Is there more to the story? Seems odd that one trip was enough was enough to cause your DC to lose the group permanently. I’ve taught secondary school for almost two decades. In my experience, teens are more complex than that. I’ve seen more of the situation where the teens attend the flashy sweet sixteen  or go on the big ski trip, but then ignore the host afterwards in favor of the excluded friend.[/quote]

There is more to the story and it almost all points to the mom.  Thanks for asking. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics