Reply to DH Appears to Have Given Me an Ultimatum

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need some actual legal advice.

Spend $500 and have a consult with a lawyer.  You can look in the Washingtonian for lists of good lawyers.  Before you make the appointment, explain you have a complicated financial situation and ask if they can handle it.

Are you now a citizen?  Will divorce affect your ability to be in the US?  If so, also ask about this.  Make sure the lawyer you consult can address these issues.

Then, listen for an hour (asking intelligent questions) and figure out what the best case scenario (and worst case) for you is.

You will likely have to pay to end this relationship.  Figure out what that's going to look like, and then decide if you can live like this.  I don't think you have many options - so figure out what that looks like.  If it's unappealing, decide what is more appealing and follow that path.  Maybe you send him off to this international assignment, and take over mortgage, bills, etc, and wait a few years and then divorce.  Hard to know what will be best for you, but bottom line you need more info to make these decisions.     [/quote]

You're also going to have to explain your entire financial situation both what your husband and you have made over the years and where it was invested.

I don't think you have an accurate picture of how the law in the US will view "your savings" and "your apartment".  In general, if those things were funded from money that your earned during the marriage, and regardless of how they are titled, they will be subject to some kind of equitable split in divorce.  How and exactly how much depends on what state you live in and what the other marital assets are and what you and your STBX husband can agree on.  (For example, sometimes you can agree that one party will keep one asset but give up something else that has value to the STBX spouse.)  The split of assets is not affected by who made decisions about an asset during the marriage.  So, even if you decided to buy an apartment, selected which one, carried out and paid for a renovation and then managed the rental property all by yourself, if you paid for any of that with $$$ you earned during the marriage, it probably is subject to some kind of split between you and your STBX.

I don't think you have as much of your own money as you think you have.  See an attorney to figure that out before you make any moves. [/quote]

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