Reply to Pregnant with non-boyfriend - he wants me to keep it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In your shoes, my own, living, right-here-at-home now kids would be THE one and only key thing to consider here. This would rock their world twice over (new stepdad and new sibling) and would also possibly set up a huge divide in your home: Your kids with your ex, and "his" kid for whom the "has millions" dad could provide. There is no plan at all for his being a parent to your children and you have zero idea how he might treat them, or whether he is in any way equipped mentally or emotionally to be their stepfather. He has no children of his own, he hasn't even met your children (yet you have known each other as friends for years so... he's never even met them casually before you were sleeping together?). I would put my own existing children first and recognize that this is recipe for a divided household.

Also: He offered marriage only after he got you pregnant. I know that can work out; I've seen it work. But honestly I'd always wonder if he would have wanted to marry me without the "oops" pregnancy. Not a great basis for a solid life together.

The Catholic thing is just dumb. Does he actually attend church? Participate in a religious life? If his only "Catholicism" is that which emerged when he told you he doesn't like abortion, then he's not really religious; he just has qualms based on a knee-jerk response to the idea of abortion. Don't let the religious claim sway you at all here.

Your post indicates you are not thrilled and also not in some kind of gooey "We're having a baby and that will bring us closer together!" romantic phase about all this. Follow your instinct here. If you keep this baby I would consider doing it without marrying him until AFTER the baby is here and he has had a lot of time to get to know your own children well. And I'd get all the legal ducks in a row for child support and custody arrangements until you do marry him -- if you do. If you choose not to have this baby I would not lie and invent a miscarriage but would have the abortion and then tell him. He will likely break up over it so be ready for that. [/quote]

I agree with this 100%.[/quote]

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