Reply to how to help mentally ill brother, his wife who is sick of it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok again, he is literally homeless though _ his disability benefits are being used to fund a home he's not allowed to live in and  he has been hotel_hopping since Friday.

He is on day 2 of intensive outpatient program _ I don't want to enable but do people really advise just cutting bait and hoping he figures out a place to stay? Better to tough love him and hope he gets the picture or help him find a sublet etc? Also how does one get their money back from spouse in this situation? Both names on lease etc.[/quote]

If you can help him find a place to stay, at least during his outpatient treatment, I'd do that, but don't get involved in the details of his relationship with his wife.  You simply have no idea what is going on in his marriage, and you're not equipped to deal with it.  Unless his wife has a restraining order, she can't keep him out of the house.  If you can help him find a sublet, do it.  I'd probably even float him the money for first month's rent.  Don't promise to pay for more than you can afford.  Don't pretend it's a loan--you'll never get any money back.  [/quote]

His treatment program should have the staff to help him find housing.  Repeat: his treatment program should have the staff to help him find housing.  Encourage him to talk to his treatment team.

If they don't (!), you can see what services in his locality can help him.  You could offer him money, but be clear that it's not a permanent solution unless you want it to be.

You don't have to "cut bait" to have good boundaries.  Instead, help him find the people whose job it is to help him and to let him know the services to which he may be entitled.  You're helping him assume the responsibility for his treatment, which is essential.  Treatment and recovery happen in daily life.[/quote]

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